I got into the actual world of fighting, the world of karate. Why? I wanted to defend myself from the big bad outside world. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted to be an independent woman and I wanted my freedom. Period. The want for freedom - was defined by me as independence. I heard it in my mother, grandmother, my aunts, my friends, society, everywhere.
In my work as an interior designer, I became aggressive, pushy, and hard, fighting internal and external demons.
As I dug deeper into karate, this Martial Art form, I started to feel the pulse, MY PULSE. And I asked-- WHAT AM I FIGHTING?
The answer - I was fighting the very conceptualisation and conception of my birth as a woman. I was fighting the viewpoint of my family, relations friends, and the world. The ORIGIN of the view - women need protection. I progressed in my field of karate, from being an aggressive participant in world championships, to proudly displaying the tricolour and tasting the tears on my lips on hearing the INDIAN national anthem being played. The transition from a player to a Referee happened as naturally as my question. I went from WHAT to WHO AM I Fighting?
Now, as a referee the responsibility changed from watching, not only myself but also two very Capable and skilled fighters, fighting their battles. I have to have an eagles eye view of not only their skills and technique but all the other attributes which help pronounce the winner. I had no choice but to step outside of ME space to connect with OTHERS.
Let me give you an example- what I saw in the beautiful, delicate, fully clad-up Iranian women fighters was not only their dedication towards hard work, skills, and techniques but also their pent-up anger, and frustrations. I saw fierceness and blood in their kajaled eyes, I heard their cry for basic instinct for survival in that Kia. I heard them deep into my very core of being. I shriveled inside, what demons are they fighting? WHO ARE THEY FIGHTING?
I was SHOWN the mirror and I could see the reflection of the entire world. Meanwhile, in my world, along with my two sons, another Martial Art Form, entered my life.
TAICHI, poetry in motion, but translated as the supreme ultimate- started exploring me. I slowed down, I softened, I learned to step back and as I dug deeper into this Art Form- the light started shining brighter on my question- WHO AND WHAT AM I FIGHTING?
The very essence of this Art Form responded to my very cry for existence.  It was not about a man or a woman it was about the very being.